


Maybe I'm Falling For You

by thelilacfield



Category: In the Flesh (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, F/M, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-18
Updated: 2014-08-18
Packaged: 2018-02-13 17:53:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2159730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelilacfield/pseuds/thelilacfield
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kieren never imagined that a job he took in order to pay the bills would lead him to a charismatic and irresistible English professor who would turn his love life upside-down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maybe I'm Falling For You

In The Flesh coffeeshop!AU/college!AU inspired by [this gorgeous drawing](http://berry-muffin.tumblr.com/post/92331787165/yo-wheres-the-in-the-flesh-coffee-shop-au-huh) by [berry-muffin](http://berry-muffin.tumblr.com/)  **| student/professor relationship, simon/kieren, amy/philip, title from _falling in love at a coffeeshop_  by landon**  **pigg**

* * *

 

The need for money becomes quite apparent the first time Kieren is assaulted by bills coming through the letterbox, bills that he can barely scrape together the money to pay. He can't ask his parents for more money, when they're paying his tuition and still supporting Jem, so he goes out looking for work. Assembles a meagre CV and searches the town for vacancies.

He spots Amy on the corner of the street, though of course he doesn't know her as anything more than the slightly odd girl who specialises in fashion design. She's wearing one of her own eclectic creations, black lace and bright floral patterns, a flower in her hair and a black mesh net hiding her eyes. As he walks past her, she holds out a flyer and brightly says, "Come to Furness Coffee for a free cake!" Recognising him, she grins and says, "Hi Kieren!" Noticing his hands full of copies of his CV, she laughs softly and asks, "Looking for employment?"

He nods with a heavy sigh. "I've been looking in all the shops around campus, but so far, nothing. Happen to know anything?"

She grins brightly, eyes shining, and says, "Yes, actually! Connie - my boss, she's cool - is looking for more workers, she's just starting out and needs people to work. I promise, she's a sweetheart. She even lets me wear my own creations to work so I can get some more publicity." She spins slowly, triumphant, and turns to grin at him. "Come on, please? It would be so amazing to work with someone I already know of, and Connie would probably let you hang your paintings up."

By the end of the day, Kieren is suddenly employed, and Amy is walking him back to the dorms, chattering nineteen to the dozen. "Connie's daughter-in-law owns a bed and breakfast in Roarton, and she decided to open that place to spite her for throwing her out. So, she's employing me, and now you, and probably some other students. She picked a good location to set up, university students are always desperate for work." She opens the door without permission and flops down on the bed. "Poor you, you've got a roommate. Who is it?"

"His name's Philip," Kieren says, grabbing a few drying paintbrushes from the windowsill and carefully putting them back in their storage box. "He's on his last year of Professor Martin's politics course. Nice enough, keeps himself to himself. His mum's lovely, she always brings home baking when she visits. He finds her embarrassing."

"Well, if you ever need a quiet space to work, I have my own flat just outside campus, although you might have to figure out the intricate system of where to put your feet outside all the fabric on the floor," Amy says. "I've lived there since I started here. My parents both died when I was little, and my gran died when I was seventeen. A lot of money went into a savings account for me."

Kieren looks at her, lost for words. Every word she says is so bright, like a piece of sunlight, but he can see he lost look in her eyes. He can't imagine what life might be like without his family, his supportive parents and his sister, always willing to pose for portraits. "I'm sorry," he finally says, and she just smiles, bouncing slightly on his mattress.

"It's okay!" she says brightly, surprisingly upbeat. "Nothing you can do to change it. I go home every few weeks, put flowers on their graves, tell them how my life's going. I like to think that they turned under the soil for me when my last boyfriend cheated on me." She holds up a hand before Kieren can open his mouth. "Don't be sorry for that either. Life is just a rollercoaster, nothing anyone can do to change that. I'm sure I'll tell you lots of stories at work, business will be slow for a while."

She stays in his room for a long time, flipping through a folder of his sketches and looking at his highlighted choices for other classes to take, crossing out the ones she doesn't like. "Professor Oddie is harsh, you won't like him," she says, viciously drawing a line through the Religion course. "And I can't really see you in any of the sciences. You obviously have an artist's soul." Turning the page, she asks, "Do you play an instrument? You might like music." He shakes his head, and she sighs. "Just come and join me in some of my extracurriculars. You need to network at university. This is where you make those friends who'll add you on Facebook in ten years and suddenly you'll start talking like no time passed at all. You can invite them to your wedding."

By the time night is falling, she leans over to kiss Kieren's cheek as she gathers her things. "We're working from four tomorrow, and since it's Saturday I know you don't have classes. Connie will work out a shift schedule with us, she's had some emails from other hopefuls. She'll take them on now and fire them later if they suck. Goodnight, Kieren Walker."

The door slams shut behind her, and he can hear her singing as she walks down the hallway. Everything is still, precise, exactly the way it was before, but it feels like a hurricane has just blown through his room, his whole life. Amy Dyer is a whole other being, bright and joyful and just snatching everyone around her up into her whirlwind. He grabs up his pencil, his sketchbook, and starts to draw.

Eyes gritty with exhaustion, he falls asleep with a new sketch pinned to the sloping wall above his bed, Amy smiling down at him, flower in her hair and glint in her eye.

* * *

Pinning his name badge to the front pocket of his apron, Kieren can't help but smile when Amy waltzes through the kitchen doors, her hair a wild mass of snaky curls topped with an orange flower shot through with black, wearing an orange shirt and a long black skirt that drags on the floor, revealing the tips of her orange shoes. Connie follows her back, a pencil behind her ear, saying, "Amy, one day I will win the war. You'll wear the uniform."

"You're suppressing my creative spirit," Amy says, although her smile shows she's joking as she takes her name badge and pins it prominently to the black belt cinching in her waist. "It's an insult to my freedom of creative expression. No one has ever told me what to do."

"Your gran spoiled you," Connie says, and Amy nods and grins sunnily. "We'll have to meet later to work out shifts, I assume you both remembered your class schedules." They both nod. "Great, and we'll be with two other students I've hired too. Zoe and Brian, Zoe's in Chemistry and Brian's in Veterinary Medicine. You two probably don't know them, since you're so artsy."

Adjusting the gaudy flower, Amy bounces to the counter when the bell over the door jingles, and Kieren looks on her fondly as she asks, "How can I help you?"

"Hey, Kier," comes a voice, and Kieren leaves the kitchen to greet his roommate. Philip looks harried and tired, forehead lined with worry. "I hope you don't mind, I found one of the flyers in our room when I got back from the library this morning. Thought I should try and support you so you won't be stuck with me in halls forever." One corner of his mouth twitches up in a grin. "Can I have a black coffee, no sugar, and one of those blueberry scones."

"I'll be right back with that," Amy says, affecting her best 'here to help' smile. She starts up the coffee machine, and says, "You look tired."

"Working on my final dissertation is a long slog, I was in the library all night," Philip says, and Kieren stares at him in shock. "I know, it's such a geeky thing to do. But I feel like my professor's lost all faith in me, and I want to show her that I can complete this degree." He accepts the coffee from Amy, and watches her carefully wrap the scone in a brown paper bag, twisting the sides and pressing the  _FURNESS COFFEE_  sticker to the flap. "Thank you," he glances down at her waist, "Amy."

They serve around ten more people during their three hour shift, and even though business is slow Amy remains positive that it will pick up soon. "You should let me keep wearing this, people will come back to see what I'm going to wear next," she says with a wink to Connie, who rolls her eyes fondly. "Kieren, you're coming to see my place when we're done here. No arguing. I'll tell you everything you need to know about classes and professors and people."

As it turns out, it's relatively easy to divide up the shifts. Brian and Zoe's classes start and finish earlier than Kieren and Amy's, so Amy volunteers them for the morning shifts and Kieren mourns the loss of lazy mornings spent lying in bed and contemplating never getting up. She hears him sigh and says, "Don't be like that! This way, we'll get all of the gorgeous people coming by for their coffee before class and something to eat because they slept in and had to skip breakfast for a shower."

Connie dismisses them all to close up, and Amy links her arm through Kieren's as they leave. "So, Zoe and Brian," she says cheerfully, "which one of them in madly in unrequited love? Personally, I'm swinging towards Brian - wanting to help animals versus blowing things up."

"I don't think blowing things up is all Chemistry is," Kieren says, but she just laughs and tugs him onwards, pulling her keys out of the bag swinging from her shoulder. Unsurprisingly, there's a heavy silver flower dangling from the ring, and keyrings all clack together as she runs up the stairs, Kieren following a few steps behind.

Throwing the door open with a flourish, she says, "Welcome to my humble abode! If you'll excuse me, I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Only wear these clothes for the fans."

When she returns, wearing a long grey cardigan over her navy pyjamas - it's strange to see her in these neutrals, without an explosion of colours - she loudly scolds, "Don't just sit there on my sofa and do nothing! You're my best friend, that makes this your home too. When you get drunk, you'll sleep on my couch. When you're homesick, you'll let yourself in here and make yourself a cup of tea and fall asleep watching bad reality TV. Whenever you meet someone you think you might like, you'll come here and we'll eat chocolate and talk about it. Got it?" He nods, and she smiles. "Now, I'll give you my spare key later. Want something to drink?"

"Do you have lemonade?" Kieren asks, and she nods. "I'll have that. And you can give me the insider's guide, since you've been here for three years. Which professors should I avoid?"

"Well, your roommate's professor for a start, she takes her politics  _very_  seriously," Amy says, rolling her eyes. "I already told you about Professor Oddie, and stay away from Martin's assistant, Gary. He's an asshole, no one likes him. You know all the art professors are lovely, and art's such an independent subject that they mostly leave you alone except to remind you of deadlines. I don't really know much about the science professors, but I always want to add some colour and patterns to those lab coats.  _Oh_  - and then there's Professor Monroe. He's in English. He has this one class that no one ever takes because they think it's boring - he calls it Interpretation of English Literature - but I'd say at least sixty-five percent of the students here are in love with him." She smiles softly, and Kieren notices the blush in her cheeks. "Might be good for you, as an extra class."

"Maybe," Kieren muses, and accepts the glass that she presses into his hands. "Amy...when you say that we're best friends, do you really mean it?"

"Of course, dumb-dumb!" Amy says, ruffling his hair affectionately. "And before you leave, I want your measurements. I'll make some clothes that aren't those ridiculous oversized jumpers. Are you trying to look inhumanly skinny?"

Kieren smiles at her over his cup, and regrets it when she takes it as a positive reply and vanishes away to look for her tape measure. He doesn't even mention that he can see the end of it hanging out of a half-closed drawer bursting with ribbons.

* * *

Against all odds, the coffee shop quickly a hot spot for students. Amy persuades Connie to install Wi-Fi, and soon it's constantly heaving with people frantically working on homework and chugging coffee to stay motivated. Working the morning shift isn't as bad as Kieren had thought, with Amy around to steal croissants for the two of them and sing loudly to greet the day, ignoring Connie's scolding and implications that her less-than-stellar voice drives customers away.

Yawning as he ties the apron around his neck, Kieren hears the bell jingle a mere five minutes after they've opened, and jerks his head up. "Who is that?" he asks, and Amy shrugs. "We haven't even eaten our stolen breakfast yet."

She laughs, and kisses his cheek, saying, "You take care of our customer, and I'll grab us some food. Do you feel like  _pain au chocolat_  today? Because I do, and that's what you're getting."

Pushing the door open, Kieren stops when he sees the man waiting on the other side of the counter. Black briefcase dangling from one hand, a heavy oversized coat disguising his shape, the face he recognises from the student website, where he's gone to apply for Professor Monroe's class a dozen times or more, always clicking away before completing the process. "Can I get you anything?" he asks, trying not to show how nervous he is. After all, Amy did tell him that more than half the students are in love with this man, and he doesn't want to tempt fate to crushes. Not again, this year he's concentrating on work and studying.

Professor Monroe seems to be determined to make that as difficult as possible, though, when he looks up and his gaze flickers up and down Kieren's body, dark eyes resting on his face and making something deep in his stomach clench hotly. "Good morning, Kieren," he says, and Kieren tries not to react visibly in any way to the way that voice shapes his name. "A tea, please, two sugars and one of Connie's brownies."

Amy comes out of the kitchen, snapping the silver tongs together and taking out two of the  _pain au chocolat_ , opening the fridge for two cans of lemonade and bumping it closed with her hip. "Morning, professor," she says cheerfully. "Sorry I haven't been in your class, my professor offered me connections with a design agency so I've been spending all my time in the studio, designing."

"We all miss your insights, Amy," Professor Monroe says, and Kieren can understand why so many people like him. He makes each person he talks to feel special, the only person in the room. "You're dressed rather conservatively today." Amy grins, and looks down at her grey dress bashfully, simple cotton with lace stretched over it in patterns like spider webs. "Did you design it?" She nods, and Professor Monroe smiles. "I thought so. It has your unique touch."

"Your order, Professor Monroe," Kieren says, edging Amy behind him and back into the kitchen. "That'll be four fifty."

Looking him up and down again, making no less of a show of it, Professor Monroe hands over a ten pound note and says, "Keep the change. A tip, for being here as I was heading to class and needed tea." While Kieren's still staring at him in surprise for the generosity, he takes the cup from his hand, their fingers brushing together. "And Kieren? Call me Simon."

He leaves, raising the cup to his lips as the bell jingles behind him, and Amy emerges from the kitchen with a mischievous grin on her lips. "I have never seen an exchange so riddled with sexual tension!" she declares dramatically, and Kieren feels the blush burning in his cheeks. "It's like a fairytale! The sexy young professor meets the student barista and gives him a ridiculous tip and they keep exchanging looks and denying their feelings because it's  _wrong_  but then eventually break and snog in the library and live happily-ever-after. With sex."

"Don't be ridiculous!" Kieren says, furious with himself for continuing to blush. "Do you want to split this tip? Buy yourself some more ribbon?"

"Kieren Walker, that tip is a taster from a sexy professor who was giving you a very obvious up and down look," Amy says sternly. "You need to take advantage of the situation. Even more reason for me to make you some clothes that actually fit right and give you some assets. You need to give me your measurements if you don't want me to take them myself. Can I borrow your phone? Mine's out of charge, and I need to call my professor about the internship she brought to my attention."

Kieren offers her his phone, keying in the password, and she drifts off, leaving him to eat breakfast and contemplate the meaning of the encounter. It doesn't have to mean anything if he doesn't want it to - but he's not used to anyone flirting with him. Especially not so blatantly, in this kind of situation. Of course, Simon isn't  _his_  professor, but it's still not right.

"You're signed up to Professor Monroe's class now," Amy says, throwing his phone at him. He almost drops it, and then looks back up at her in wide-eyed horror. "What? You were considering it, I know you were, and after this you'll just dither about it even more. Easier for everyone if I do it for you." Twisting off the end of his pastry, she smiles and says, "You signed up for this when we became friends," and flits off to answer the jingle of the bell.

* * *

To his credit, Simon is an amazing teacher. The class is small, only ten people, but their attention is rapt as he leans against his desk and talks to them like they're equals. The class is studying  _Romeo and Juliet_ , and it makes Kieren very glad that Amy isn't here to whisper to him about the forbidden love between him and the professor. There is nothing going on.

"I think that Shakespeare meant for this play to warn parents to keep a close watch on their children and stop them from believing that love is the most important thing in life," another student says, a boy who makes faces through every love scene they read. "I think that Romeo and Juliet's deaths were down to them, and if they'd just taken a moment to think instead of acting immediately then a lot of lives could've been saved."

Raising his hand, Kieren tries not to blink when Simon gives him the benefit of a smile. "I don't think that the playwright intended the audience to take that message from the play," he says slowly, the whole class turning to look at him, the newcomer speaking up. "Romeo and Juliet is categorised as one of Shakespeare's tragedies, but it's also one of the greatest love stories of all time. From the first moment, you know that the two of them are fated to meet and fall in love and die for each other. Shakespeare tells us that fate is unchangeable, and even the most logical of responses, disregarding all emotion, wouldn't have changed it. We're also shown how love and hate function in this society, and that love is by far the strongest force - not only do Romeo and Juliet's deaths heal the breach between their families, they find a way to evade fate and be together in death."

The bell sounds for the end of the class, and Kieren grabs his bag out from under his desk, determined not to be the last one in the class. After the moment between them, he doesn't want to alone with Simon for too long. "Kieren, can I talk to you?" And that voice takes away his hope, and he turns slowly to face his professor, who's smiling at him like he's the only person in the world. "I'm glad you signed up for this class, you have interesting insight. I'd never thought of the young lovers evading fate by ending their lives." Kieren nods, and starts to leave, but Simon's fingers close around his wrist. "And I hope that you'll be able to feel comfortable in this class. And you'll continue to serve me in the morning."

Kieren scuffs the toes of his shoes along the ground and swears under his breath all the way back to his room, where he finds Philip hunched over his laptop, typing frantically and taking frequent sips of energy juice. "I thought you were finished," he says, and Philip looks back at him with frantic, darting eyes.

"So did I, but then I read it over and I realised that there was a whole chunk that was all wrong, so I'm rewriting it," he says, and even his voice is strained. "So, how was your day? I hoped I might get to the coffeeshop before your shift ended, but I slept in. Any chance you're taking on an evening shift too?"

"Are you trying to keep me out of this room, Philip?" Kieren asks, and finally Philip smiles, shaking his head. "My day was...long. And interesting." Sitting down on his bed, he says, "Have you ever looked at someone and thought that first impressions can be wildly wrong?"

Philip shifts in his chair, and says, "A few times. I mean, when I saw I'd been assigned a room with a freshman, I thought I was looking forward to a drunken partier who would have alarms blaring to get up for class. And then I got you."

Kieren leans down under his bed to pull out his sketchpad and his pencils. "Mind if I draw while you work?" he asks, and Philip shakes his head, already tapping at the keyboard again. Carefully putting the pencil to the paper, he draws from memory, trying to capture the exact intensity of dark eyes, the brightness of a smile just for him, the spirit that envelopes his professor.

When the sketch is done, he folds it up and creeps out to the faculty corridor, slipping inside with five minutes to spare until the door automatically lock and the alarms switch on. Finding the drawer for  _S. Monroe (English)_ , he slips the unsigned, anonymous drawing inside and leaves again.

Of course, he's never going to tell Amy. He wouldn't want her to know that now he's just another pair of lovestruck eyes in a huge crowd. But, with one essential difference - he has a gut feeling that Simon's flirting with him was genuine, and not just being nice. And although he may not want to figure out his feelings in a complicated situation, the drawing is a thank you for that. For making him feel desirable.

* * *

Valentine's Day arrives suddenly, after a Christmas surrounded by family back in Roarton, with Amy as the guest of honour, graciously waving down any presumption that she was Kieren's girlfriend and gossiping happily with Jem. Catching them looking at him and giggling, Kieren desperately hopes that Amy hasn't told his sister about Simon. And he worries that it was beyond presumptuous to send Simon a Christmas card and a bottle of wine, all he could afford after buying presents for his family, Amy and Philip.

Balancing precariously on a wobbling stepladder to pin pink and white streamers up, Amy bats a cluster of balloons away and asks, "Do you have a date for the Valentine's pub crawl yet?" When Kieren tilts his head at her in confusion, she says, "We art students like to do it every year, with the professors and sometimes other students along for the ride. Everyone gets dressed up and we go out through all the pubs nearby and come back completely pissed. Want to come?"

"Sounds great," Kieren says, tongue poking out of the side of his mouth as he concentrates heavily on icing the biscuits. "It's not like I've got much else to do besides work on sketches and drink too much coffee so Philip doesn't feel like he's addicted. Want to be my date?"

"Sorry, handsome, I've already invited your roommate along," Amy says, and Kieren turns wide eyes on her. "I thought he could use an excuse to get drunk, dealing with that bitch of a professor. Poor guy came in here yesterday with yet another draft of his dissertation, she keeps telling him they're not good enough. There may not be answers at the bottom of a glass, but there is the bliss of forgetting." Staring proudly at her handiwork, she climbs down from the ladder and walks around the tables, perking up the flowers as she casually says, "I've been helping Simon with his marking to earn some extra cash, and he showed me all the Christmas cards he got from students lusting after him. I took two bags down to the recycling bins for him."

A twinge of embarrassment shoots hotly up Kieren's spine, and he concentrates even harder on making each iced heart look the same. How could he have been so stupid? There are dozens of other students crushing on Simon, he's just one person in a crowd. He'd have to be an idiot to think he had any sort of chance with him. "Anyway, I think Simon secretly likes the attention," Amy says. "He was drinking wine while we were grading, and when he got a bit tipsy he started confiding in me. His mum died five years ago in a car accident, and his dad hasn't spoken to him since then. And he's been messed around by a lot of dickhead guys. He seems really lonely." With a sly little smirk, she says, "You know, he's only nine years older than you. That's practically nothing these days."

Rolling his eyes, Kieren sticks his tongue out at her and goes to flip the sign to open, staring at the wave of couples that flood in, buying cakes and biscuits to split and gazing warmly into each other's eyes. God, he  _misses_  romance. Even the only kind he's ever had, forbidden and secret and burning like a sudden blaze, bright and hot and over far too quickly. The postcard that fell through the door over Christmas is hidden under his pillow, and he's traced Rick's signature so many times that the ink is starting to fade. The words are burned into his mind, he's spent so long reading the innocent little missive, searching for something between the lines, a hidden meaning to show what they mean to each other. Or is it all past tense now?

"I'll save a dance for you," Amy says, bringing him out of his reverie as she closes the door to the fridge with her hips and offers him a can. "Simon pays me in cash, so you can have a couple of drinks on me too."

"One day Connie is going to realise how much food we steal, and we're going to be in serious trouble," Kieren says warningly, but Amy just grins and cracks her can open. "So what time do I show up for this pub crawl?"

"About seven, we like to get started early," Amy says breezily, wincing as she untangles the rose from her hair. "Can you believe Simon sent these to me? He's such a darling, I'd marry him if he played for my team. He's my best friend - after you of course."

Kieren just manages to clamp his lips shut and avoid pressing for more information about Simon, and goes back to his dorm with his hands deep in his pockets, trying not to think about Simon or Rick. He'd never imagined it would be possible to have such intense feelings for two people at the same time. Unlocking the door to his room, finding it empty - the only trace of Philip a bin filled with Red Bull cans and the laptop charging on his desk - Kieren falls flat out on the bed and reaches under his pillow to reread Rick's words.

_Ren, hope you don't miss me too much over Christmas. I miss home, but I've got new friends here, and we've put all our money in the ring to buy a proper turkey dinner. I hope my dad's stopped giving you so much shit now I'm away. How's university? Always knew you'd make it there. I'll send you another of these when I can. Merry Christmas._

He thinks about the old Rick, the Rick who used to hide him from everyone, the Rick he fell so passionately in love with only to have him rapidly cool off when he signed up for the army, the Rick who used to laugh with him and become so loving and tender when they were alone. He misses that Rick. He never wanted this distant figure who he's almost sure doesn't love him any more, and would love to pretend that nothing ever happened between them.

In a fit of misery, he happily eats all of the biscuits he and Amy saved for themselves rather than face eating in the canteen, drains the last of Philip's Red Bull, and starts to draw. Rick's face comes vaguely to life, and he's just wondering whether he's angry enough to tear it into confetti and toss the sketch out of the window when Philip trails back in, bearing a tray of coffees and a plastic box of salad. "Didn't see you in the joint, so I bought you this," he says, setting it down next to Kieren's foot. "And feel free to drink these. I rented a couple of movies so we can relax. I'm sick of trying to perfect that bloody dissertation."

Reaching for the salad and poking at it half-heartedly, Kieren straightens up when Philip shakes out the pockets of his coat and pulls out a brightly-coloured envelope with a flourish. For a second, a thrill of joy springs through Kieren's body, making his face heat - Rick  _remembered_. But the writing on the envelope isn't Rick's, and he opens the card to read the brief message:  _Thank you for the drawing, and your Christmas card and present. Amy told me what happened with you and Rick - hopefully this won't be the only card you receive today. - SM_

* * *

Amy is already waiting as Kieren approaches the meeting place, wearing red in honour of Valentine's, silver hearts dangling from her ears and another red rose knotted into her hair. "I scraped the thorns off this one," she says with a grin, bestowing a hug and a cheek kiss on Kieren and taking Philip's arm. "You clean up pretty good, Philip. Although it's obvious you're coming out to get stupidly drunk."

"It's what everyone does on Valentine's Day," Philip says broodingly, and Amy laughs sunnily, curling closer to him in the frigid night. "People are saying we're going to get a late snowfall. Maybe it'll cancel classes, and I'll have one less day of dealing with Gary. He's such a tit."

"Isn't he just?" Amy remarks, tucking an errant curl back behind her ear. "He comes into the shop a lot to blatantly insult me. He's just so gross, and he makes such horrible comments about my designs. We'll see how he feels when I'm a world-class designer and he's still trying to intimidate people who see right through his bullshit."

The evening picks up quickly, with everyone having the single purpose of getting as drunk as possible in a short amount of time. Hovering near Amy, Kieren picks up all the free drinks men keep giving her, trying not to grin at Philip's resentful looks. Perhaps tonight will be an excuse for him to stop messing around and admit his obvious feelings for Amy. Freshmen are happily getting drunk with their professors, complaining loudly about the workload, and Kieren is propping up the bar when he sees a familiar profile and finds himself confronted with Simon, giving him a smile and ordering a drink for him. "I hope you got my card," he says, and Kieren nods vigorously, spilling his drink a little. How much has he had? "I left it too late to send you a Christmas card in return, and I wanted to thank you."

"It was the only card I got," Kieren says mournfully. The drink loosens his tongue, and he finds himself telling Simon everything, even though he won't be able to look him in the eye the next time he's in class. And those dark eyes just focus entirely on him, until he's finally finished and Simon buys him another drink and guides him to a seat. "I don't know whether to give up and get over him, or just keep hoping he'll get his act together."

"Kieren," Simon takes his hand, draws him closer, and Kieren's breath comes out hitched, his heart beating faster and a blush creeping up his neck. "Anyone who could throw away something as special as you never deserved you in the first place. You need to cut your losses and get out now, or you'll end up some miserable man waiting for him to decide you're the most important thing. If he's been making the same promises for this long, he's never going to keep them. Trust me, I haven't dated a single man who didn't break all his promises." He sighs heavily, and Kieren squeezes his hand in sympathy. "You know, Kieren, I had something of a crisis when I was writing your card."

Quickly swallowing his mouthful of drink, making a croaking noise as the alcohol hits the back of his throat and burns, Kieren blinks hard and tries to sound as sober as possible when he asks, "What do you mean?"

"I wasn't sure how best to express myself," Simon says softly, moving his hand up so his fingers are caressing the inside of Kieren's wrist, where his pulse is beating harder and harder, a tiny ticking metronome hammering against his skin. "Ever since I first saw you, Kieren, you've been haunting me." Shivers run down Kieren's spine as Simon murmurs, "'Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight! For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night'," because the words sound unbearably sexy in that soft voice, and the silken caress of the words that won over the world is making Kieren's head spin. "I've never been one to pursue, Kieren. I am a tactical man, I withdraw and wait for evidence that my feelings are returned. But you..." He smiles, and the world seems to be just them. "You change everything. You change  _me_."

Taking another sip of his drink, feeling his whole face on fire with a blush and his tongue twisted, tied up in knots, Kieren manages to get out, "I need a minute," and stumble away, across the floor and out into the cold night air, leaning back against the wall and letting himself breathe.

The door bursts open again, and Amy stumbles out, all traces of her lipstick gone and her cheeks pink. "I really like Philip," she says, tucking a fallen curl behind her ear and beaming at him. "What's wrong, handsome? Not having a good time?"

"No, I am, I am," Kieren says assuredly. He might not know what to do from here, but having his older, gorgeous professor hitting on him is not a bad thing. "I just...I keep thinking about Rick. And how I don't think he's coming back for me, and he doesn't want us to be together. And I don't know how to get over him."

Leaning against him, Amy says, "I don't really know how to get over people, I guess. But I know it's a process, and it's not going to happen in one night, and that a bit of flirting and some drinks never hurt anyone's self-esteem." Grinning wickedly, she says, "Come on, Simon wants you. A little dance and a flirt and maybe a snog won't hurt. It might even be fun!"

Helping her back inside, watching her return to Philip's arms and dart up to kiss him, Kieren smiles, and scans the room for Simon. Jealousy shoots up his spine, white-hot and cloying, when he sees him dancing with another man, smiling at him. He's never been surer of himself as he walks straight to Simon, head held high and walk confident, and kisses him. Simon kisses him back with a fervour that must have been suppressed for a long time, fierce and almost violent.

It should be just one kiss. It shouldn't even be one, but it happens and he can't take it back, so Kieren turns and walks away. Tells Amy he's leaving and promises Philip the door to their room won't be locked, and goes straight into a taxi. Walks into an empty room and breathes out slowly, drinking a bottle of water and taking a shower that's just warm enough to be tolerable to try and sober up.

But when he's standing by the end of his bed, pulling a shirt over his head while simultaneously trying to keep one hand on his slipping towel, a knock comes, and he instinctively calls out, "Come in!" before he can think about the fact that it's three o'clock in the morning and he's not dressed for company.

It only takes Simon seconds to pull his shirt back over his head and press him down onto the bed and kiss him. Everything is upside-down and back to front and Kieren can't tell where his body ends and Simon's begins, only that Simon is a fantastic kisser and he must have more than two hands to touch him  _everywhere_  like that and that their skin is so hot pressed together and that he's never known something so hot or so fast or so instant. _  
_

When it's over, when the world has settled back on its axis and the room comes back into focus, with the pale wallpaper and Philip's neatly-made bed and the bin stacked high with Red Bull cans and empty styrofoam coffee mugs and the clothes curled like napping cats on the floor, Kieren stares at the wall, shocked at himself. Sleeping with his professor was not the way to get over Rick.

Simon puts an arm over him, and kisses his neck, and murmurs, "Are you okay?" into his sweat-slick skin. Rolling over to look at him, Kieren stares up at him and doesn't know what to say. Simon's eyes dim a little, the light fading, and he sits up slowly. "I'll just go then. Wouldn't want to be here when your roommate gets back."

The moment the door clicks softly shut, Kieren rolls onto his back and presses the heels of his palms hard into his eyes until all he sees is a swirling galaxy, and maybe he can forget what he did. Burying his face in the pillow, he tries to sleep, so he can know nothing and forget exactly how bad a decision sleeping with Simon was.

* * *

Ferociously scrubbing a tomato sauce stain on the plate, Kieren doesn't notice Amy walking in, wearing a neon green jumper of a very loose knit, simple black jeans and heavy black boots. "What did that plate ever do to you?" she asks, and raises her eyebrows pointedly when he doesn't answer. "Kieren, I think it's time I tell you that I know you slept with Simon. The entire campus and faculty know it, and you don't have to be ashamed."

He still doesn't reply to her, and she sighs heavily. "You know I let Philip crash at my place so you could have the room to yourself and have  _time_  to figure things out? I did that because I'm the best best friend, and you won't even talk to me about why you're ignoring him and skipping his class and you won't even notice how sad he is whenever you walk past him. The poor thing has feelings for you, Kieren."

"The feelings are mutual, okay! Happy?!" Kieren snaps, shutting the door to the cupboard where they keep their plates with unnecessary violence. "I feel guilty because I was drunk, and because it wasn't the right way to get over Rick, and I haven't even spoken to him about how I might be falling for another man, and I haven't spoken to Simon since that night because I feel like I used him as a warm body and a way to forget about Rick for a while." Helping himself to a can of lemonade from the fridge, he cracks it open and says, "The only solution is to throw myself into work. There won't be any time to worry about my love life then."

Levelling her gaze at him over her mug of hot chocolate, with its entirely overgenerous swirl of cream, Amy says, "Having taken on marking with Simon so I can afford enough fabric to bring my vision to life, I hear a lot about his woes. I think he genuinely has strong feelings for you, and he's upset about having to pull back. I know you're going through some shit with Rick, but you at least owe Simon an explanation, if nothing else."

"He quoted  _Romeo and Juliet_  at me," Kieren says miserably, and Amy smiles into her mug. "I really wanted him, in that moment. He was everything, and then when it was over I realised that it had been everything. But I shouldn't. He's my  _professor_."

"Oh God, Kieren, like that matters when you're in love!" Amy exclaims angrily. "You think Philip doesn't annoy me sometimes? You think he's not a bit serious and down-to-earth and downright boring sometimes? But I still feel the same about him even when he won't wear one of the ties I got him to match my outfits. And you'll feel the same about Simon whether he lectures you or not."

Nodding slowly, Kieren quickly stands upright when Connie walks in to check on them. "Kieren, there's a man through here asking for you and only you," she says, and leaves again. Amy grins and Kieren quickly checks his hair in the screen of his phone before he walks through from the kitchen to face Simon.

But he comes jerking to a halt when he sees Rick standing there, a small smile on his handsome face and his hands deep in his pockets. "Hey Ren," he says quietly, and Kieren chokes on his words, feeling a hundred barbs rise up like splinters in his throat. "Sorry I didn't let you know I was gonna come see you, it was all very last minute." He steps closer, and continues, "I was kinda hoping I could surprise you on Valentine's Day, but I couldn't get away in time. Couldn't get a card either. I'm really sorry, Ren."

Staring at the face that once haunted his dreams, a laughing face leaving him behind, Kieren just shakes his head slowly, and it feels like a surrender as he says, "You're too late, Rick. We were over a long time ago, it's just been too long now. I'm in love with someone else."

Rick's eyes widen, and Kieren sees Amy's face appear in the window, the door crack open a little so she can listen, and he struggles not to laugh. "I want to meet him," Rick finally says. "The guy, I want to meet him. Gotta tell you whether he's good enough for you."

"He is!" Amy shouts from the kitchen, and Kieren finally laughs. Rick does too, and then smiles softly.

"I really did love you, Ren," he says quietly, and Kieren nods. "We loved each other, but I guess it wasn't the kind of love that grows up when we do. We're still friends, right?" Kieren nods, and Rick steps up to hug him. "Good. I don't want to lose you."

Work ends, and Kieren manages to smile tightly at Zoe as they change shifts. Rick comes with him to his room, introduces himself to Philip, and they sit up through the night talking. Kieren tells Rick about Simon, ignoring him rolling his eyes when he confesses to sleeping with him when he was drunk, and listens patiently to his advice. Takes it to heart.

The light is barely starting to spill into the corridors when Kieren finally looks at himself in the mirror and thinks there's nothing more he can do, and leaves with Rick and Philip's good luck wishes echoing in his ears. It's almost eerily quiet, as it's a Saturday morning and most people are still in bed, and the knocking sounds impossibly loud as he raps his knuckles smartly against the door.

Simon opens the door in his dressing gown, clearly fresh out of bed, his eyes drooping with sleep and his hand smothering a yawn. "What is it?" he asks softly. "Are you okay?" As Kieren walks past him, looking around the impressive room, Simon shuts the door and insistently says, "Kieren!"

"I love you," Kieren says, the words slipping out of him as naturally as breathing. He says it again, louder, just to feel it echo and seep into the walls, to become another part of life. "I love you, Simon Monroe."

He doesn't expect Simon's hand on his shoulders, and it makes him start, but Simon's gaze is honest as he whispers, "I love you too, Kieren Walker," and kisses him, so hard that Kieren is tipping back a little against his lips. So hard that it feels like they'll be connected forever.

The coffeeshop takes in more money in the weeks after that kiss that it ever has before. With Simon coming in and buying all his coffee there, just to sneak kisses over the counter and tip extravagantly, and Philip eating cakes and biscuits as he works through the last hellish months of his degree, and all the students who stop by to stare at Professor Monroe's new younger boyfriend, it's an easy way of making money.

And Kieren is so wildly in love with Simon, that the money almost doesn't matter so much.  _Almost_.


End file.
